


Hallucinations

by DancingInTheSliverGlow



Series: Febuwhump 2021 [11]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: A little bit of fluff, Adam Milligan Lives, Adam Milligan is Saved, Adam Milligan is So Done, Adam Milligan-centric, Adam-Centric, Angel Vessels (Supernatural), Angel/Human Relationships, Apocalypse, ArchAngel Michael - Freeform, Archangel Lucifer (Supernatural), Archangel grace, Battle, Cabin Fic, Cabins, Cage Fights, Canon Compliant, Canon Era, Canon Related, Canon Universe, Canon-Typical Violence, Comfort, Communication, Communication Failure, Doom Eternal, During Canon, Dysfunctional Family, Earth, Emotional, Emotional Baggage, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Family Issues, FebuWhump2021, Febuwhump, Fighting, Fights, Fluff, Gen, Ghouls, Grace - Freeform, Hallucinations, Healthy Boundaries, Healthy Relationships, Hugs, Hurt, Hurt Adam Milligan, Hurt/Comfort, Hyperventilating, Hyperventilation, Ice Cream, Ice Cream Parlors, Immortality, Insanity, Lack of Communication, Loneliness, Lucifer in the Cage (Supernatural), Lucifer is a bratty child, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Michael Possessing Adam Milligan, Michael in the Cage (Supernatural), Michael is clueless about human needs, Michael puts Adam in a hallucination, Michael shields Adam, Michael's Grace, Nonverbal Communication, One Shot, One Shot Collection, Orbit - Freeform, POV Adam Milligan, Pain, Panic Attacks, Pre-Relationship, Protective Michael, Protective Michael (Supernatural), Sam Winchester Remembers Lucifer's Cage, Sam Winchester in Lucifer's Cage, Short One Shot, Social Issues, Solar System, Tags Are Hard, Time is Fluid, Touch-Starved, Trauma From Lucifer's Cage (Supernatural), Warrior - Freeform, approaching insanity, but he doesn't get there, coping by playing eye spy, febuwhump 2021 day 11, febuwhump 2021 day 11 hallucinations, febuwhump day 11, febuwhump day 11 hallucinations, good communication, hand holding, i think, immortal Adam Milligan, immortal Midam, lonely, lonely Adam, lonely Adam Milligan, lucifer hurts Adam, mention of ghouls, mentions of Adam's mom, midam hugs, mild ocd, physical affection, powerful michael, touch-Starved Adam Milligan, universe - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-11
Updated: 2021-02-11
Packaged: 2021-03-17 14:26:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,915
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29351925
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DancingInTheSliverGlow/pseuds/DancingInTheSliverGlow
Summary: Midam fanfic; what happens when Adam says yes to Michael and Sam Winchester drags them into the cage? Michael learns that humans need more than food and water; they need companionship. Michael learns how to take care of Adam.
Relationships: Michael & Adam Milligan, Michael/Adam Milligan, implied background Lucifer & Michael (Supernatural)
Series: Febuwhump 2021 [11]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2137995
Comments: 8
Kudos: 31
Collections: febuwhump 2021





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [fond object of my affection](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23812882) by [forestjoshua](https://archiveofourown.org/users/forestjoshua/pseuds/forestjoshua). 



When Adam is resurrected and says yes to Michael, he doesn’t really know what he’s agreeing to. He’s too glad about being given a second chance at life, after Michael is done with him. Sure, Michael explains that it’s the apocalypse, his brother Lucifer has been freed from his cage and Michael needs to defeat him before he murders the entire human race. But after the battle is won (and Michael had assured him that he would win, just like before), Adam would be free to do whatever he wanted. Live out the rest of his life on the parts of Earth in the communities that survived.

He doesn’t know that the Winchesters, his half brothers, had planned to throw him, Michael, Lucifer and Sam in the cage to battle it out for all eternity. 

Objectively it’s not a bad plan. 

Adam just wishes that he had a say in it.

When Adam says yes and Michael’s grace enters him, it feels like getting on a rollercoaster. Adam can feel the power, the potential in his fingertips. But at the same time, he feels like an outsider, looking through his own eyes.

Living alone in our own body is like sitting on your favourite armchair looking at the tv of your own eyes. When Michael first possesses him, Michael boots him out of the armchair, but lets him stay in the room looking at the tv. Adam watches as a copy of his body - Michael sits down in the armchair. This illusion is purely Michael’s; Adam doesn’t think he’s capable of holding himself that straight, and undoubtedly uncomfortable posture. It’s an eerie sight, seeing your body move in ways that aren’t yours and respond to commands that aren’t your own.

Michael and Lucifer plus their respective vessels are thrown into the cage. Lucifer lashes out at Michael with his fists and his grace. Although Adam isn’t in the armchair, he’s still in the room and he still feels everything acutely. 

Lucifer’s blow on his chest is beyond agony. 

Adam can’t breathe. The pain on his chest is overwhelming, and for the first few moments (before Michael snaps into action) he can’t even think. The pain of dying and becoming a ghoul was a stroll in the park compared to this. If Michael had not been possessing him, Adam would have crumbled like a sheet of paper and begged for death. 

Lucifer’s blow on his soul is excruciating. 

There’s no way to fully describe the horrenous affliction. Adam feels it in his head, in his soul, everywhere. Adam instantly knows that he - his soul - won’t survive a second blow without being irreparably shredded to pieces. 

It’s a huge relief when the first action Michael takes isn’t to retaliate against Lucifer. With one swift motion, Michael boots Adam out of the house, out of the city and into outer space. 

Adam can’t see or hear a thing. In comparison to the previous agony, it’s pure bliss. 

Adam floats in the metaphorical space above the earth. When his soul is no longer dripping in torment and the pain in his chest eases, Adam opens his eyes. Instinctively he knows what the planet, stars and the sun in front of him isn’t real. It's just a hallucination. 

That doesn’t detract from the beauty. 

Adam spends several hours floating in space, admiring the sun peeking around the side of the earth, and the clumped lights on the surface of the earth glittering. He watches the earth spin like a pretty top, with the moon constantly circling in its elliptical orbit. He watches the earth hurtle through the darkness, occasionally moving closer to the sun as if to tempt faith before moving further away. 

At least, it seems like several hours.

When Michael appears, he informs Adam that it’s been decades. 

Adam thinks that he should’ve known.

He had seen the earth complete multiple laps around the sun, but the laps had gone by so fast that Adam just assumed it was sped up by 90,000x times like an undergrad’s lecture video. 

Adam wonders if this is what immortality feels like. Time and perception are slow, while action and events move at the speed of light. 

Michael reports very little: Sam is not doing well. Michael can see the rips and tears in his battered soul, but there’s nothing he can do. In fact, all of Michael's effort is spent fending off Lucifer’s attacks. The only reason why Michael is even able to take a moment to speak to Adam is because he and Lucifer had finally worn each other down so much that even their archangel graces needed more than a microsecond moment to repair them.

While Michael speaks, Adam glances around, and finds that the solar system has frozen. As Adam peers closer at the moon and sees it slowly inch it’s way around the earth and he realizes no, it hasn’t frozen. Adam’s perception of time has just returned to normal.

Suddenly in mid-sentence, Michael cocks his head to the side, as if listening. His face is solemn, and he disappears presumably back to the armchair that holds the steering wheel to Adam’s vessel. Adam can only guess that Lucifer’s grace has sufficiently healed him, and the eternal battle is continuing. 

The moment Michael leaves, the solar system returns to its previous speed. Adam watches the earth lap around the sun twice before he becomes bored. He moves his attention beyond the moon, earth, and sun and starts looking for other planets. 

Venus and Mars are easy to spot. They're about the same size of the earth, and their respective dirty yellow and red colours stand out. Part of Adam distinctly knows that he's too far away from them to realistically be able to see Venus and Mars as anything other than dots but he doesn't care. In fact, Adam prefers it this way; the sight of the individual planets are more aesthetically pleasing like this. Anyway, this is all a massive hallucination - why should it be realistic? 

The next planet Adam spots is Mercury. Adam knows that it's just barely bigger than Earth's moon. The earth laps around the sun several times while Adam squints at the sun, looking for a small dark spot quickly orbiting the sun. Eventually he spots a dark spot speeding around the sun just below his eyeline. Strangely enough, it reminds him of a race car.

Adam wonders if race cars and racing competitions are still a thing on earth. 

The next time Michael materializes, Adam is trying to figure out how many times Mercury can circle the sun in the time it takes Earth to go one lap. The task is harder than he assumed and he’s lost count a few times.

Micheal tells him that he won this round against Lucifer, unlike the previous tie. Adam merely nods. He starts a mental tally: Michael - 1, Lucifer - 0, tie - 1, and wonders if this is going to be his purpose. To keep tally of Michael and Lucifer’s fight for the rest of eternity. 

The thought is awfully lonely.

Adam turns back to the planets and tries not to think about the fact that he has no-one. His mom is dead, and the few friends he had back on earth have probably long forgotten him, if they are still alive. 

Out of the corner of his eye, Adam sees Michael - in his body, will that sight ever stop unsettling him - make a half turn towards the earth.

“Wait.” Adam asks. To his surprise, this throat isn’t parched from the lack of water or speech. Michael had told him about this: while being possessed Adam wouldn’t require any food, drink or sleep. Michael’s grace would sustain him completely. “How much time passed?”

“A few decades. Less time than the previous time.” Comes Michael’s answer. Adam nods in acknowledgement and a mixture of thanking the archangel for answering. Michael disappears a moment later. 

Adam turns back to his solar system. He watches Mercury and Earth’s orbits and eventually comes up with the estimate that Mercury orbits the sun just slightly over four times in the time it takes Earth to complete one orbit. 

How delightful.

Adam can tell that the emptiness of space, the loneliness and the lack of true purpose is getting to him. Archangels may be perfect warriors capable of spending eternity locked in battle, but deep down Adam knows he’s not capable of that. He refuses to acknowledge that because he knows the moment he does, his spiral into depression, and eventually insanity will begin.

Humans are social creatures. They need to be among other humans. They need to communicate, to socialize. They need physical affection. They need family. They need something to do. A purpose in life, something to work on, and to be proud of.

All Adam has is a detailed hallucination of a solar system and an emotionless warrior archangel. 

Adam turns around and tries to find Jupitar. He looks beyond the asteroid belt, and looks for any shining dots moving in front of the background of a million tiny stars. It takes him awhile before he spots Jupitar slowly making its way across the solar system. It looks smaller than Earth, Venus and Mars but still bigger than Mercury - and big enough for Adam to see a touch of the sandy colour. Adam knows that Jupitar is much further away from the sun than the other planets he already found, but the fact that Jupitar is much larger - the largest planet in this solar system - makes up for that fact. 

Adam finds Saturn shortly afterward. He spends a few moments admiring the rings before moving on to find Uranus. Uranus proves much more difficult, and as much as he tries to ignore it, Adam can tell that many, many Earth orbits pass as he scours the solar system for the light blue planet. Part of him wants to skip it and move on to Neptune, but Adam forces himself to stick to Uranus.

He’s not entirely sure why it matters that he finds the planets in order.

Either way, Uranus is proving very difficult to locate. In fact, he doesn’t find it until Michael appears, and Adam’s eyes drift up and spot a small spot, just slightly larger and a shade darker than the trillions of stars behind it, stop moving above his head. 

Adam can’t help it - he laughs.

Michael gives him a confused and suspicious look, which just makes Adam laugh harder. Eventually the laughter dies down and Michael speaks.

“I lost this round against Lucifer. He is more accustomed to moving around in the cage, already having spent millenia there.” Michael says.

Adam studies Michael’s projection in his body. There’s a few bruises on his face and a trace of blood on the side of his mouth. Silently Adam updates the scoreboard: Michael - 1, Lucifer - 1, tie - 1. As Adam watches, it disappears and Michael continues speaking. 

“Sam Winchester is still aware of his surroundings. I suspect he saw my fall and started resisting Lucifer to give my grace a chance to heal me.”

_Winchester._

Adam scowls. It’s Sam _Winchester_ and Dean _Winchester’s_ fault that he’s stuck in this empty hallucination for eternity. 

Michael frowns. “Why are you upset?”

Why is he upset?! 

All of Adam’s blood rushes to his head. He wants to scream. He wants to grab the archangel in front of him and shake him and shout until he makes Michael understand that he never wanted this, he never wanted to be lost in space, all alone with everyone he knows dead and gone. He never asked for this-

\- except he did. Michael had asked him, and Adam, foolishly, had said yes, thinking that it would lead to a _life._

How wrong he was.

Adam turns away from Michael and closes his eyes. “Just go back.” He’s not sure if he sounds angry or sad. His own voice sounds strange, alien to his own ears, and whenever Michael uses Adam’s voice in his projections, his voice is always toneless. 

A few moments later when Adam doesn’t hear anything, he turns around and opens around. Only the spinning solar system stares back at him. 

It’s only then that Adam remembers that he forgot to ask Michael how much time passed. Adam swears and stomps away from the spot. It’s only then that he realizes that he’s not fixed in the same spot - he can walk around this solar system. He can walk around this hallucination. 

Yay! 

How wonderful. 

Adam starts looking for Neptune, but after several earth orbits he’s forced to admit that his efforts are fruitless.

Ha.

He’s fruitless.

Literally!

Adam can barely remember the last time that he ate anything, far less human food. Before this solar system hallucination, he was in heaven, rewatching the greatest hits of his life. No fruits, no food there. Before that… he was a ghoul, trying to eat humans alive. 

Adam quickly moves on from those memories. Before… _that_ , Adam was just a normal human. What did he eat last? It was… Adam strains his memory for a moment before it comes to him. He was at an ice-cream parlor eating a chocolate sundae with his mom. They were celebrating something. His nineteenth birthday? No, his birthday is in the fall; it would’ve been too cold.

Adam can’t remember what they were celebrating.

He strains his memory, falls to his knees and yanks at his hair but the answer doesn’t come. Adam screams and _pulls_ and strains of his hair come out in his hands. He stares at them for a moment before throwing them as far as away as he can.

Considering that it’s hair, it only drifts a few feet away. Adam feels insignificant, powerless. Helplessly, he watches as the hair falls down, down until it’s lost in the darkness of the hallucination.

Suddenly the solar system doesn’t seem as beautiful as it had. It feels cold, alien, imposing and terrifying. 

Adam doesn’t want to be here anymore. He desperately wishes he was somewhere else warm, well lit. He tries to remember his room. The walls were light blue - or were they a light green? He thinks there were posters lining the walls but he can’t remember what characters were on them. He knows he had a desk - did he keep it clean or messy? Adam doesn’t remember.

Adam doesn’t _remember_.

He’s losing pieces of himself.


	2. Chapter 2

_Suddenly the solar system doesn’t seem as beautiful as it had. It feels cold, alien, imposing and terrifying._

__

_Adam doesn’t want to be here anymore. He desperately wishes he was somewhere else warm, well lit. He tries to remember his room. The walls were light blue - or were they a light green? He thinks there were posters lining the walls but he can’t remember what characters were on them. He knows he had a desk - did he keep it clean or messy? Adam doesn’t remember._

__

_Adam doesn’t _remember_._

__

_He’s losing pieces of himself._

The darkness all around Adam starts closing in. Adam curls up into a ball, covers his ears and shuts his eyes as tears roll down his cheeks. He shoves his mouth on his arm as his breath comes out in desperate heaves, as if he’s choking.

He tries to picture his mom, beautiful, happy, warm. He imagines her there, opening her arms and hugging him and telling him that it’s going to be okay.

But a voice at the back of Adam’s head whispers that it never be okay again, he’s going to be alone, he going to be stuck in this void, stuck in this lonely solar system with the darkness closing in on him for the rest of his existence - 

A hand on his shoulder startles him.

Adam flinches __hard__. 

Eyes red, face wet he looks up and sees his lookalike, Michael leaning above him, concern written all over his face. 

“Adam, are you-” Michael starts but no other words come out.

No other words come out because Adam throws himself at Michael and buries his face in Michael’s jacket, and cries.

A few moments later Adam feels a hand tentatively rest on Adam’s back while another gently cards through his hair. They stay like that for what seems like hours. Adam runs out of tears, and continues hyperventilating. A voice talks to him - is it Michael’s? It sounds too __gentle__ to be his but as far as Adam is aware there’s no one else here, in this hallucination. The voice tells him to __breathe__ , to __inhale__ and __exhale__ and __repeat__ and eventually, after what seems like eons, it works. He stops shaking - when had he even started shaking? - and finally feels a strange sense of peace. He’s able to focus on the sensation of hugging Michael. 

Technically, Adam is hugging his own body. __Technically__ , this is all a hallucination. However, Michael’s body feels real, the fingers in his hair feel real, and Michael figures that’s currently more real than anything else in his life, so it must be real enough. It has to be.

Now that __that’s__ over, Adam takes a moment to enjoy the hug. It’s literally been decades, if not centuries since he’s been hugged. Since he’s received any physical affection.

Like this, Michael almost feels human. There’s heat coming from the hand resting on his back and from Michael’s side where the side of Adam’s face is resting. Michael’s fingers are running through his hair, slow, methodically and mundane. The only thing tipping Adam off that the being he’s currently holding isn’t human is the slight scent of ozone, and the faint sense of __power__ that Adam can sense coming from Michael. Adam doesn’t know how he can sense it, it’s almost like a sixth sense? Or maybe it’s because he’s Michael’s vessel. Either way, the __sense__ isn’t that intimidating, not anymore. It’s more of… an acknowledgement of the power that Michael holds. 

Adam relishes the moment a minute longer. It’s been so long since he has hugged someone, and he doesn’t know when he’ll get another hug. 

He doesn’t know if __he will ever get another hug__. 

He’s stuck inside Michael’s - or is it his - hallucination, and Michael is stuck in the Cage with Lucifer and Sam. There’s no one to hug him besides Michael, and Adam doesn’t know if Michael will hug him again.

Then again, why is Michael doing this? 

Does he care about Adam? 

Or is Michael just taking care of his vessel? 

Does Adam’s mental health even affect Michael?

Adam pushes the last two thoughts aside - he doesn’t know if he’ll be able to handle it if Michael was only caring for him in the way one cares for a __vehicle__.

Michael’s nails gently scratch along his scalp and the sensation brings Adam’s thoughts back to the present. Somehow Adam knows that Michael is waiting for Adam to end the hug, and he’s extremely grateful for that fact. And as nice as the hug is - Adam didn’t know his body was this huggable - why didn’t more people hug him before he died - the position is awkward and his leg is getting numb. Also, he’s hugging an archangel __warrior__ that - despite sharing bodies with - is a stranger. 

Despite that, the hug is still pretty good.

Eventually, Adam summons the will power to separate himself from Michael. He avoids Michael's gaze - and the dark solar system around them - sits back on his heels and keeps his eyes on his hands.

He just had a __panic attack__ in front of an __archangel.__

Adam keeps his gaze down, a clear indication for Michael to make the first move. Part of him wants to talk about it, Adam doesn't know how much longer he can take __all of this.__ But another, vulnerable part of him doesn't want to talk about it. How does he explain to an __archangel warrior__ that he doesn't like how big and empty and dark the solar system is? 

Far less how needy humans are, and their desires for companionship and purpose. 

Eventually, Michael sits down cross legged in front of Adam. "I apologize."

Adam looks up in shock. 

“It appears that you are not content with the state I left you with.”

Adam manages a dry laugh. “Yea, you could say that. Humans - people, we’re not built to exist alone. We need other people. Friends. Family. It’s why most of us live in cities, back on earth. Sure, we need each other to get our necessities - food, water, money and all that but it’s more than that. When we’re alone,” Adam’s voice gets caught in his throat. “We get lonely. And that leads to - we can get anxious. Depressed. Some of us go insane. There’s a whole slew of mental illnesses.”

A memory of a guidance counselor from Adam’s high school giving a talk pops into his mind. Adam laughs. Who knew that eventually he’d be giving a similar speech to an archangel?

"I did not know that the actions I have seen humanity partake in were essential. I thought they were just for comfort, and not necessarily for wellbeing. Angels - we do not need such comforts. We simply __are__. I thought your solar system," Michael waves his hand, gesturing to all of them, "would be… interesting and would occupy your attention while I battled Lucifer. I did not anticipate that it would bring you discomfort." 

Adam nods, stunned by Michael's words. He thought if they ever had this conversation; that he would have needed to spell everything out to the archangel, and part of him had worried that Michael wouldn't have believed him, or would have called him __weak__ for it. 

Then it occurs to him. How did Michael know that the solar system, the __emptiness__ was bothering him? "How- How did you know that this was bothering me..?"

"As my vessel, when your emotions are… __high__ , I can tell what you are feeling." 

Heat rises to Adam's cheeks. "Oh." Then something alarming occurs to him. "Can you read my mind?" 

Michael considers the question. "I could. However it was my assumption that you wouldn't be comfortable with it, so I didn't."

Adam exhales, relieved. "Okay, good. Let's keep it that way." 

Michael nods in agreement, and Adam smiles weakly. 

“You should not be so alarmed that I can sense your emotions,” Michael insists. “If I had not separated your soul from your body, you would have eventually been able to sense mine as well.”

Now __that__ catches Adam’s interest. “I- wow. It’s too bad we’re - you’re stuck in the pit.” Adam wonders in slight awe what an archangel’s emotions feel like. He knows that there are significant differences between their species, they have different needs or rather humans have needs and __‘angels just are,’__ as Michael put it. Adam wonders if they feel triumph? Satisfaction? Fear? Love? Or do they have an entirely different spectrum of emotions that humans don’t have?

Michael gives Adam another rare smile. “The next time I completely triumph over Lucifer, I could bring you out.”

Now Adam hesitates. He remembers the pain he felt the last time he was in the pit, when Lucifer attacked him. The pain was all consuming, and it had not only hurt his body, but it had hurt his __soul.__

“I would not put you in any danger.” Michael vows, sensing Adam’s fears. “If we do this, Lucifer will be incapacitated. He would not be able to hurt you. I __vow__ not to let any harm come to you.”

Adam shivers as he hears and __feels__ the power in Michael’s vow wash over him. He doesn’t know the significance of an archangel making a vow, but from the little he remembers of reading the Old Testament in the Bible, it was a solemn promise.

Adam nods and asks, “Okay. Is he incapacitated now?”

Michael smiles, presumably at Adam’s overeagerness. “No. Quite the contrary, actually. Lucifer believes that I am incapacitated.” 

Michael is incapacitated? Although Adam knows that both Lucifer and Michael are archangels, he had assumed that Michael had the obvious advantage. To hear that __Michael__ was incapacitated, Adam worries. “Are… will you heal?”

Michael nods. “I already have. My grace healed the most severe wounds several hours past.” 

“Then why…”

“I felt your distress, and I came to make sure you were okay. In the Cage, your vessel is lying on the floor. Lucifer sees surface wounds unhealed, and he thinks my Grace is weakening, and I am still recovering.” Michael goes silent for a moment and tilts his head to the side. “He is currently saying the Lord’s name in vain and alternating between kicking my vessel and the Cage bars.” 

Adam can’t help it, he laughs at the image that Michael paints. “He sounds like a bratty child.”

“He is a bratty child. All my siblings thought so as well.” Comes Michael’s amused reply. 

Adam bends over slightly as he laughs full heartedly. The image of a young chibi version of Lucifer stomping his foot surrounded by a chibi Michael and other nameless angels is too much. Adam __giggles.__ Of course, deep down he knows the image is completely unrealistic and every being in that image is much more powerful than Adam and deserving of awe and reverence but Adam can’t help himself. Plus, Michael pretty much okay-ed it. 

When Adam eventually rights himself and comes down from his amused fit of laughter, he’s caught off guard. Michael is looking straight at him, almost through him. There’s something distinctly __pleased__ in his expression. It’s intense, and Adam can’t bear to hold eye contact. His eyes flick away, only to return to Michael’s face a moment layer. This time, Adam spots something almost… __sad? Regretful?__ In Michael’s eyes.

Why does Michael look regretful?

Then it hits Adam.

Michael has to leave, and fight Lucifer once again. Now that Adam is okay again, he has no reason to stay.

Adam kind of wants him to stay, but he doesn’t know how to ask. 

He doesn’t know if he should ask.

He decides not too.

“You have to go again.” It’s a statement. Adam tries to keep the disappointment out of his voice, and he doesn’t think he succeeded. Sue him, he’s not excited about being stuck in the dark, suffocating solar system all alone again. With Michael here, it’s not that bad but without Michael - Adam dreads thinking about it.

Michael nods and stands up. He offers a hand to Adam. After a moment of deliberation, Adam lets the archangel pull him up.

“Before I leave, there is something I must do. Close your eyes, a picture somewhere that you feel… safe. Somewhere that you feel happy, comfortable.”

Adam cracks one eye open. “You want me to go to my happy place?”

Michael gives him a __look__.

“Yeah, yeah okay.” Adam shuts his eyes, and tries to remember. What is his happy place? In heaven, it had been with his high school girlfriend at prom. Later Zachariah had taunted him with the playground that his mom used to take him to when she got a day off. Both those places fill Michael’s requirements and the memories are tainted by the angels.

Adam thinks of his home, and then immediately shuts the idea down. No. That… house was where his mother got killed. It’s where he was abducted from. That… house will never be safe and comfortable again. 

So where is his happy place?

Then, Adam remembers. On his 16th or 17th birthday - no it was his 17th, his mom had managed to get a few days off from work. The previous year, Adam had picked up a part-time job to help his mom pay the bills. With two jobs, they had been able to set some money aside for a small vacation. When Adam’s birthday came around, they had packed a few days worth of clothes and food into their car and they drove off to the countryside for a small road trip.

They rented a small cabin in a forest. Adam’s mom had made a small fire in the fireplace, and they had roasted marshmallows and told silly stories. It was one of the few times that Adam and his mom had been completely stress free.

As Adam recalls the memory, it solidifies around him. Adam can practically smell the pinewood in the air and hear the crackle of the fire. The cool crisp air from the forest sending goosebumps along his skin whenever they left the door ajar.

“Open your eyes.”

The cold, empty solar system is gone. Instead, Adam is standing in the middle of the cabin. Every detail is exactly as he remembers it. The wooden logs for walls, the stone campfire, the old rug on the floor, the smell…

“ _ _Thank you.”__ Adam’s voice shakes. The cabin is emitting a sense of home, and after being lost in the middle of the solar system for goodness knows how long, Adam feels overwhelmed. 

Michael nods. “I can’t summon any other people here. In the Cage, I’m almost completely cut off from the rest of the world. However, if you need… company, call me and I will come.” 

Adam nods gratefully. 

Between one blink and the next, Michael is gone.

Adam walks over to the fireplace, sits down and holds his hands over the fire. He knows it’s just a hallucination, but the warmth from the fire feels real.

Adam smiles and waits for Michael’s return. 

**Author's Note:**

> I have at least one more Midam fanfic (from the diner scene, with an angsty hurt/comfort spin) to publish for febuwhump, so if you want to read more stay tuned! Or maybe just subscribe to the series 😃
> 
> I hope everyone's staying safe and healthy during these troubling times.  
> Come say hi on [my tumblr :)](https://art-in-the-sunlight.tumblr.com)  
> If you enjoyed, consider leaving a kudos and comment?  
> Emoji Key for those who don't know what to say!  
> ❤ = you wish you could kudos again  
> 👍 = you enjoyed reading it  
> 💕 = Midam is literally the best ship in the whole fandom. No other ship even compares to what they have.


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